Being yourself to be sure of yourself

For years I have heard, read and said that personality is created by imitation or opposition. "The self arises by opposing the not me" (Fichte) or imitating it ... And then one day I began to doubt it, at once. Indeed that I imitate the not me or that I oppose it (and then I think myself free) I am always dependent on an external reference, whether I like it or not. Of course, there is not only the negative in the no self, and we have even incorporated some of its principles, some of its values; nevertheless, the problem remains the same "when am I, what should I do to become one, how can I do it? ".
To be oneself, to be really oneself, to be yourself at last is the deepest desire of most people I meet and they all use them more or less and in different ways. In fact, there is no miracle solution to achieve this goal; the important thing is the way and many lead there. My goal in writing these lines is to share with you my thoughts, my encounters, my experiences hoping according to the level you have already reached either to awaken your consciousness, or to confirm your thoughts or to let you know that you have problems. things to teach me (and I agree that you share them with me).
I therefore propose in my next posts to address the quest themes that seem to me major in this search for oneself. I will tell you about
The guilt that is ruining our lives
Anxieties, worries and fears that restrict or paralyze us
The lack of self-love that leads us to function as a "savior", to be dependent on the appreciation of others and to judge us more than to love us
Finally ways of meeting with oneself and in particular of the identification of your donations
I will write on a bi-monthly rhythm according to my reflections, meetings, readings and experiences of the moment. See you soon on this long and beautiful path.